I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
