just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How's work?
Spinning.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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