It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can I color on your dick again?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
