its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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