I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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