He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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