I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
