a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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