He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
