Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
