Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
