They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
