Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
