Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
