i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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