don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
