ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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