my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
