love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
