living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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