At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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