Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
