THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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