i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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