His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
no. you can't hotbox the world.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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