I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize