So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize