ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I want to make a zoo with you.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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