I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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