Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
