i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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