seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
