so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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