Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
do herpes really smell.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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