To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
