I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
