even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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