It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
