I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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