She's JV to your varsity
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
