the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
