Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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