Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
