At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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