just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
