That's intense
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He felt like a one man threesome
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
