she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
