OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
