writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
