what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
