Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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