lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
