Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
