They should really pass out barf bags in church
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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