My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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