Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
