When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
