Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think people are normalizing furries
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
