Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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