the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just want to make out with him forever
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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