her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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