Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
